As [William F. ] May points out, parents give their children two kinds of love: accepting love and transforming love. Accepting love affirms the being of the child, whereas transforming love seeks the well-being of the child. Each aspect corrects the excesses of the other, he writes: “Attachment becomes too quietistic if it slackens into mere acceptance of the child as he is.” Parents have a duty to promote their children’s excellence.
“Parents find it difficult to maintain an equilibrium between the two sides of love,” May observes. “Accepting love, without transforming love, slides into indulgence and finally neglect. Transforming love, without accepting love, badgers and finally rejects.”
